Let it be known that the first desk in the 3rd row of room two is a great desk. “The fake woodwork on the table part of the desk is so well done,” said June Jones, homeroom occupant of this desk, with a slight laugh. This reporter, who happens to reside in the same desk during grammar class, concurs completely.
A desk is not the only thing June Jones and this reporter have in common. June is also thirteen years old and in the eighth grade at St. Leo the Great Grade School.
Miss Jones hopes to, one day, open “some sort of bakery or cake decorating place” with her 16-year-old sister, Hannah. She also adds that opening a boarding kennel, restricted to dogs only, might be fun. “No cats allowed!” she remarked lightly about her future kennel. “I once read this article,” Jones explained, after being asked why she was not feline friendly, “about how cats have some of the same characteristics as snakes- such as slit-shaped pupils and a similarly shaped head as snakes. I found that kind of creepy.”
June went on to mention a possible profession in zoology and other sciences. “Astronomy is really cool and oceanography looks really fun,” June commented. She is even considering following in the footsteps of her father, who is a teacher of environmental health at Saint Louis University. Though she already has many options to choose from, she says she has many other ideas for her career and that she’s “open to everything”.
June is also an avid reader. Her favorite titles and authors include the Chronicles of Narnia, by C.S. Lewis; The Sight, by David Clemente Davids; and “anything by Sharon Creech”. She later informed me that she devours anything well written, no matter what the topic. “If something is written well, an author could get me to do anything,” she said.
While other children play soccer and volleyball, June Jones competes in Canine Freestyle Frisbee competitions with her two-year-old Border Collie named Finn. She and Finn became interested in this sport during the summer of 2005, after realizing that Finn had an incredible talent for catching Frisbees in his mouth. Since then, Jones and her dog have joined the Missouri Disc Dog Club (??) and have competed in many competitions. In Canine Frisbee competitions, one performs a two-minute routine with their dog, using as many as twenty Frisbees. “Dog Frisbees used in competitions are very different from the hard, plastic Frisbees that kids play with. These Frisbees are much softer and more flexible than a regular Frisbee,” she told. Routines are also put to music and involve as many as two hundred throws including such throws as ‘around the back’ and a ‘hammer’. Besides plain throws, one can perform many different ‘moves’. “A vault,” June clarified, “is when your dog runs up your back, jumps over your head, and catches a Frisbee.” She really enjoys working with Finn and plans to continue participating in Canine Freestyle Frisbee competitions. She is eager to learn new tricks with Finn. “There are always new moves to learn,” said Jones.
The question of what celebrity she would most like to meet arose and, after a minute of thought, asked an unusual question and gave an unusual answer, “Can he be dead? I don’t know if this guy is dead or not, but I guess I’d choose Alex Stein. He is the guy that started the sport of Canine Frisbee with his dog, Ashley.” As one may conclude, June’s life is very much centered around her dog and her involvement in Frisbee.
Beside Finn, there are other animals who claim a key to her heart. Jones also has an eight-year-old Silky Terrier by the name of Daisy, whom she often finds annoying at times. She also has two chickens named Buffy and Jody, (“Who lay eggs for my mom’s breakfast every morning”), an immensely old rabbit called Fern, and two “very mean” parrots named Kiwi and Martini. “Kiwi bites me,” June stated, “and when I was younger and I would cry, he would laugh at me. He literally would mimic my brother, Rory’s, laugh and add in his own clucks and chirps. It was pretty funny.”
Jones, never having been out of the country or on an airplane, would do anything to take an around the world excursion. “If I had a chance, I would definitely take an around the world trip and stop at any place that looks interesting from the sky. I’d especially want to spend a lot of time at the rainforest. I would take a lot of pictures, too!”
When asked what color in a coloring box she would be, she immediately asked, “First, it depends, am I a crayon or a colored pencil?” When one has a mother that is an art teacher, as June does, the distinction between colored pencil and crayon makes a big difference in the world of colors. After being informed that, in this circumstance, she was a crayon, June immediately exclaimed she would be electric blue. Being questioned as to why ‘electric’ blue, in particular, was chosen, she responded that there was not much of a ‘why’ behind her answer; electric blue had always been the color she had thought herself to be.
Who’s been sitting in my chair? An animal-loving, book-reading, electric blue eighth-grader, by the name of June Martha Jones- that’s who!
Can someone proofread my article?amc theatre
Let it be known that the first desk in the 3rd row of room two is a great desk. “The fake woodwork on the table part of the desk is so well done,” said June Jones, homeroom occupant of this desk, with a slight laugh. This reporter, who also happens to reside share the same temporary quarters during grammar class, concurs completely.
A desk is not the only thing June Jones and this reporter have in common. We are both thirteen years old and in the eighth grade at St. Leo the Great Grade School.
Miss Jones hopes to, one day, open “some sort of bakery or cake decorating place” with her 16-year-old sister, Hannah. She also adds that Opening a boarding kennel, restricted to dogs only, might also be fun. “No cats allowed!” she remarked lightly about her future kennel. “I once read this article,” Jones explained, after being asked why she was not feline friendly, “about how cats have some of the same characteristics as snakes - such as head shape and slit-shaped pupils. I found that kind of creepy.”
June might also consider a possible profession in zoology or another sciences. “Astronomy is really cool and oceanography looks really fun,” June (you need a stronger verb here demonstrating that she is getting excited about the thought of so many careers) She is even considering following in the footsteps of her father, who is a teacher of environmental health at Saint Louis University. Though she already has many options to choose from, she says she has many other ideas for her career and that she’s “open to everything”. (Maybe move this last sentence to be the first sentence in this paragraph. It is more topical, and the rest of the sentences describe it is more detail.)
June is also an avid reader. Her favorite titles and authors include the Chronicles of Narnia, by C.S. Lewis; The Sight, by David Clemente Davids; and “anything by Sharon Creech”. She later informed me that she devours anything well written, no matter what the topic. “If something is written well, an author could get me to do anything,” she said. (Try a new paragraph opener – you’ve moved from possible careers (a big thing) to small things like favorite authors. Perhaps something that links her career choices with what you’ve both read.)
While other children play soccer and volleyball, June Jones competes in Canine Freestyle Frisbee competitions with Finn, her two-year-old Border Collie They became interested in this sport during the summer of 2005 when Finn demonstrated an incredible talent for catching Frisbees in his mouth. Now members of the Missouri Disc Dog Club (??)they regularly compete in Canine Frisbee competitions.
A canine Frisbee performance includes a two-minute routine set to music using as many as twenty Frisbees performing as many as 200 throw. “Dog Frisbees used in competitions are very different from the hard, plastic Frisbees that kids play with. These Frisbees are much softer and more flexible than a regular Frisbee,” she told.
Finn and June regularly practice such throws as ‘around the back’ and a ‘hammer’. Besides plain throws, one can perform many different ‘moves’. “A vault,” June clarified, “is when your dog runs up your back, jumps over your head, and catches a Frisbee.” She really enjoys working with Finn and plans to continue participating in Canine Freestyle Frisbee competitions. She is eager to learn new tricks with Finn. “There are always new moves to learn,” said Jones. (You’ve started to make simple sentences again – try linking them together and drop the “she” references. Also, using the work “one” is awkward when writing – try another descriptive word such as “partners” or “the thrower” or ???)
When asked which celebrity she would most like to meet June thought answered with asked an unusual question. “Can he be dead? I don’t know if this guy is dead or not, ( I removed guess because it takes away the strength of her choice) I’d choose Alex Stein. He is the guy that started the sport of Canine Frisbee with his dog, Ashley.”
(your choice of words will tell people you are concluding you don’t have to tell them) June’s life is centered around her dog and her their involvement in Frisbee.
But there are other animals who lay claim a key to her June’s heart. Jones also has an annoying eight-year-old Silky Terrier, Daisy two chickens named Buffy and Jody, who lay eggs for breakfast every morning, an immensely (immense is an adjective for large, you might use incredibly) old rabbit Fern, and two very mean(don’t need quotes) parrots Kiwi and Martini. “Kiwi bites me,” June stated (try a different verb with more emotion such as winced. Or describe her rubbing the place on her arm where Kiwi bit her). When I was younger and I cried, he would laugh at me using the laugh he learned mimicking my brother, Rory’s laugh. Kiwi didn’t stop there – he added in his own clucks and chirps. Now, it all sounds pretty funny.”
Jones (be consistent between using June and Jones – either one is fine, but be consistent), never having been out of the country or on an airplane, would do anything to take an around the world excursion. “If I had a chance, I would definitely take an around the world trip and stop at any place that looks interesting from the sky. I’d especially want to spend a lot of time at the rainforest. I would take a lot of pictures, too!” This paragraph is kind of hanging out there – needs to be connected to something in your paper – like an oceanographer seeing all the oceans, or a veterinarian in the rainforest – connecting your love of dogs and the color blue below.
When asked what color in a coloring box she would be, she immediately asked, “First, it depends, am I a crayon or a colored pencil?” With an art-teacher-mom (when you use a hyphen connecting the words they have to be read together as one phrase – it takes the awkwardness out of putting a lot of words together), the distinction between colored pencils and crayons makes a big difference. With clear instruction that she was a crayon, June (one usually exclaims immediately – so it is saying the same thing twice) exclaimed she would be electric blue. Why electric blue? she responded that there was not much of a ‘why’ behind her answer; electric blue had always been the color she had thought herself to be. you probably need a better reason why she thought of electric blue, possibly relate it back to the very first paragraph – relate it to the color of the room 3 – the room where she first discovered talents, or the color of the sky where she and Finn played Frisbee, or ???? this would also connect with the last sentence.
Then you need to make a one sentence link to you and Ms. Jones – why you are alike, not alike, have a these things in common or ????
Who’s been sitting in my chair? An animal-loving, book-reading, electric blue eighth-grader, by the name of June Martha Jones- that’s who!
You have a true gift for writing – the ideas are terrific. Your writing style is developing very nicely. When you proof read your own work, I think your job will be to try and reduce the number of words you use to describe things. If you can do that, your work will flow better. You’ll know when you’ve gone too far because people will say “what do you mean” or “ don’t understand” Stick to it and keep on writing – that’s how you get better. I enjoyed reading your piece.
Can someone proofread my article?symphony opera theater
wow, thats way too long to care.
make sure u underline the titles of the books. i know u might not be able to do that on here but in ur article just make sure it is. otherwise its a pretty good article. good luck.
I will only do the first two paragraph,s I'm too tired to do the rest..
Let it be known that the first desk in the third row of Room 2 is a great desk. “The fake woodwork on the table part of my desk is so well done,”says desk occupant June Jones, with a slight laugh. This reporter, who happens to reside in the same desk during grammar class concurs.
Miss Jones hopes to one day open “some sort of bakery or cake decorating place” with her 16-year-old sister, Hannah. She adds that opening a boarding kennel, restricted to dogs only, might be fun. “No cats allowed!” she remarks lightly about her future kennel. When asked why she was not feline friendly, Jones explains “I once read this article about how cats have some of the same characteristics as snakes- such as slit-shaped pupils and a similarly shaped head as snakes. I found that kind of creepy.”
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