Let it be known that the first desk in the 3rd row of room two is a great desk. “The fake woodwork on the table part of the desk is so well done,” said June Jones, homeroom occupant of this desk, with a slight laugh. This reporter, who happens to reside in the same desk during grammar class, concurs completely.
A desk is not the only thing June Jones and this reporter have in common. June is also thirteen years old and in the eighth grade at St. Leo the Great Grade School.
Miss Jones hopes to, one day, open “some sort of bakery or cake decorating place” with her 16-year-old sister, Hannah. She also adds that opening a boarding kennel, restricted to dogs only, might be fun. “No cats allowed!” she remarked lightly about her future kennel. “I once read this article,” Jones explained, after being asked why she was not feline friendly, “about how cats have some of the same characteristics as snakes- such as slit-shaped pupils and a similarly shaped head as snakes. I found that kind of creepy.”
June went on to mention a possible profession in zoology and other sciences. “Astronomy is really cool and oceanography looks really fun,” June commented. She is even considering following in the footsteps of her father, who is a teacher of environmental health at Saint Louis University. Though she already has many options to choose from, she says she has many other ideas for her career and that she’s “open to everything”.
June is also an avid reader. Her favorite titles and authors include the Chronicles of Narnia, by C.S. Lewis; The Sight, by David Clemente Davids; and “anything by Sharon Creech”. She later informed me that she devours anything well written, no matter what the topic. “If something is written well, an author could get me to do anything,” she said.
While other children play soccer and volleyball, June Jones competes in Canine Freestyle Frisbee competitions with her two-year-old Border Collie named Finn. She and Finn became interested in this sport during the summer of 2005, after realizing that Finn had an incredible talent for catching Frisbees in his mouth. Since then, Jones and her dog have joined the Missouri Disc Dog Club (??) and have competed in many competitions. In Canine Frisbee competitions, one performs a two-minute routine with their dog, using as many as twenty Frisbees. “Dog Frisbees used in competitions are very different from the hard, plastic Frisbees that kids play with. These Frisbees are much softer and more flexible than a regular Frisbee,” she told. Routines are also put to music and involve as many as two hundred throws including such throws as ‘around the back’ and a ‘hammer’. Besides plain throws, one can perform many different ‘moves’. “A vault,” June clarified, “is when your dog runs up your back, jumps over your head, and catches a Frisbee.” She really enjoys working with Finn and plans to continue participating in Canine Freestyle Frisbee competitions. She is eager to learn new tricks with Finn. “There are always new moves to learn,” said Jones.
The question of what celebrity she would most like to meet arose and, after a minute of thought, asked an unusual question and gave an unusual answer, “Can he be dead? I don’t know if this guy is dead or not, but I guess I’d choose Alex Stein. He is the guy that started the sport of Canine Frisbee with his dog, Ashley.” As one may conclude, June’s life is very much centered around her dog and her involvement in Frisbee.
Beside Finn, there are other animals who claim a key to her heart. Jones also has an eight-year-old Silky Terrier by the name of Daisy, whom she often finds annoying at times. She also has two chickens named Buffy and Jody, (“Who lay eggs for my mom’s breakfast every morning”), an immensely old rabbit called Fern, and two “very mean” parrots named Kiwi and Martini. “Kiwi bites me,” June stated, “and when I was younger and I would cry, he would laugh at me. He literally would mimic my brother, Rory’s, laugh and add in his own clucks and chirps. It was pretty funny.”
Jones, never having been out of the country or on an airplane, would do anything to take an around the world excursion. “If I had a chance, I would definitely take an around the world trip and stop at any place that looks interesting from the sky. I’d especially want to spend a lot of time at the rainforest. I would take a lot of pictures, too!”
When asked what color in a coloring box she would be, she immediately asked, “First, it depends, am I a crayon or a colored pencil?” When one has a mother that is an art teacher, as June does, the distinction between colored pencil and crayon makes a big difference in the world of colors. After being informed that, in this circumstance, she was a crayon, June immediately exclaimed she would be electric blue. Being questioned as to why ‘electric’ blue, in particular, was chosen, she responded that there was not much of a ‘why’ behind her answer; electric blue had always been the color she had thought herself to be.
Who’s been sitting in my chair? An animal-loving, book-reading, electric blue eighth-grader, by the name of June Martha Jones- that’s who!
Can someone proofread my short story for me?home theater
Let it be known that the first desk in the 3rd row of room two is a great desk. “The fake woodwork on the table part of the desk is so well done,” said June Jones, homeroom occupant of this desk, with a slight laugh. This reporter, who happens to reside in the same desk during grammar class, concurs completely.
A desk is not the only thing June Jones and this reporter have in common. June is also thirteen years old and in the eighth grade at St. Leo the Great Grade School.
Miss Jones hopes to, one day, open “some sort of bakery or cake decorating place” with her 16-year-old sister, Hannah. She also adds that opening a boarding kennel, restricted to dogs only, might be fun. “No cats allowed!” she remarked lightly about her future kennel. “I once read this article,” Jones explained, after being asked why she was not feline friendly, “about how cats have some of the same characteristics as snakes- such as slit-shaped pupils and a similarly shaped head as snakes. I found that kind of creepy.”
June went on to mention a possible profession in zoology and other sciences. “Astronomy is really cool and oceanography looks really fun,” June commented. She is even considering following in the footsteps of her father, who is a teacher of environmental health at Saint Louis University. Though she already has many options to choose from, she says she has many other ideas for her career and that she’s “open to everything”.
June is also an avid reader. Her favorite titles and authors include the Chronicles of Narnia, by C.S. Lewis; The Sight, by David Clemente David’s; and “anything by Sharon Creech”. She later informed me that she devours anything well written, no matter what the topic. “If something is written well, an author could get me to do anything,” she said.
While other children play soccer and volleyball, June Jones competes in Canine Freestyle Frisbee competitions with her two-year-old Border collie named Finn. She and Finn became interested in this sport during the summer of 2005, after realizing that Finn had an incredible talent for catching Frisbees in his mouth. Since then, Jones and her dog have joined the Missouri Disc Dog Club (??) and have competed in many competitions. In Canine Frisbee competitions, one performs a two-minute routine with their dog, using as many as twenty Frisbees. “Dog Frisbees used in competitions are very different from the hard, plastic Frisbees that kids play with. These Frisbees are much softer and more flexible than a regular Frisbee,” she told. Routines are also put to music and involve as many as two hundred throws including such throws as ‘around the back’ and a ‘hammer’. Besides plain throws, one can perform many different ‘moves’. “A vault,” June clarified, “is when your dog runs up your back, jumps over your head, and catches a Frisbee.” She really enjoys working with Finn and plans to continue participating in Canine Freestyle Frisbee competitions. She is eager to learn new tricks with Finn. “There are always new moves to learn,” said Jones.
The question of what celebrity she would most like to meet arose and, after a minute of thought, asked an unusual question and gave an unusual answer, “Can he be dead? I don’t know if this guy is dead or not, but I guess I’d choose Alex Stein. He is the guy that started the sport of Canine Frisbee with his dog, Ashley.” As one may conclude, June’s life is very much centered on her dog and her involvement in Frisbee.
Beside Finn, there are other animals who claim a key to her heart. Jones also has an eight-year-old Silky Terrier by the name of Daisy, whom she often finds annoying at times. She also has two chickens named Buffy and Jody, (“Who lay eggs for my mom’s breakfast every morning”), an immensely old rabbit called Fern, and two “very mean” parrots named Kiwi and Martini. “Kiwi bites me,” June stated, “and when I was younger and I would cry, he would laugh at me. He literally would mimic my brother; Rory’s, laughed and add in his own clucks and chirps. It was pretty funny.”
Jones, never having been out of the country or on an airplane, would do anything to take an around the world excursion. “If I had a chance, I would definitely take an around the world trip and stop at any place that looks interesting from the sky. I’d especially want to spend a lot of time at the rainforest. I would take a lot of pictures, too!”
When asked what color in a coloring box she would be, she immediately asked, “First, it depends, am I a crayon or a colored pencil?” When one has a mother that is an art teacher, as June does, the distinction between colored pencil and crayon makes a big difference in the world of colors. After being informed that, in this circumstance, she was a crayon; June immediately exclaimed she would be electric blue. Being questioned as to why ‘electric’ blue, in particular, was chosen, she responded that there was not much of a ‘why’ behind her answer; electric blue had always been the color she had thought herself to be.
Who’s been sitting in my chair? An animal-loving, book-reading, electric blue eighth-grader, by the name of June Martha Jones- that’s who!
______________________________________...
Re-read and note the corrections.
Hope this helps
Old Dawg
______________________________________...
Readability Sat:
Counts :
Words ..... 901
Characters ..... 4234
Paragraphs ..... 11
Sentences ..... 50
_______________
Readability :
Pass. Sentences ..... 8%
Reading Ease ..... 67.1
Grade Level ..... 7.9 (8.0)
Can someone proofread my short story for me?comedy club opera theater
Thats not a short story, its the first chapter of a novel.
i think it is good well i my self is writing but have not finish my book as yet
There aren't enough ninjas.
.
great short story, keep up the good work
only errors I found were as follows:
6th line Great Grade School should be Great Grades School
18th line Her Favorite titles area uses too many simicolon's need to revise.
only grammer errors were;
23rd line Collie should be collie
40th line around should be on
42nd line who should be that
hope this helps
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